Thursday, June 2, 2011

Adoption and Pregnancy Update

I have been MIA lately from the blog world, so much has been going on in our lives the past month or so. After the wreck, every free minute I had was spend googling cars and trying to find and sort out features of different cars. I LOVED my CR-V, but if we are going to have 2 babies in October, I knew we needed a little more room. After an exhuasted few weeks, we finally found an awesome deal on a used Honda Pilot about an hour and a half away. There is more than enough room, leather seats, navigation, etc., and I am in love with our new ride :) Once I finally had the car business figured out, I had to finish up grades for the year and clean out my classroom. Any teachers out there can sympathize with me about the stress of year end details of school. Our last day was Tuesday, and it couldn't have come soon enough!

I am really showing now - the belly literally popped out about 2 weeks ago, overnight. I didn't want to share with my students about this pregnancy. Telling them about the miscarriages in the past was almost too much to bear, and I want to be knee-deep in the pregnancy when they find out. THey will be surprised in August when I have a big belly, right? Several of my students in 7th and 8th grade started asking the teachers if I was pregnant and they just played dumb and said to ask me, but none asked me. One 7th grader, who is one of my favorites, said to th 7th grade teacher, "I have to ask you a question, but I am not really sure how to word it. Do you know if Mrs. Baskin is pregnant again, or is she just gaining weight?" LOLOLOL! My friend told him to ask me that question, but he replied, "I can't, because if she is not pregnant, I don't want to hurt her feelings." God love him...

Our baby started moving last week. (Or rather, I started feeling him/her move last week). I had just left 8th grade celebration and was downing some Wendy's when I felt a muscle spasm or sweep across my lower abdomen. I freaked out when I realized what it was, and everyday since then I look forward to feeling the movement and praising God for the miracle of life growing within me. I still can't believe I am in this stage of pregnancy: 19 weeks this Saturday, feeling movement daily, really showing now - not just looking like I ate one burger too much! I am also swelling alot in my ankles and lower legs even though I am walking, yoga, or on the eliptical 5-6 days a week and drinking a TON of water. My OB said this is normal in the south when it is so very hot and humid, but any ideas on how to avoid this swelling?????

The birthmom emailed me a picture of herself, she is so adorable and tiny, and YOUNG...We pray for her everyday, and pray to God that his will be done, but I find myself getting more and more wrapped up in this baby and the possibility of "twins". I try to keep a distance emotionally because I know she could change her mind, but I find myself looking at twin strollers, figuring costs of twin bedding and cribs, car seat, a home nanny, etc. She told our lawyer friend she is 100% sure, but I know there is still a chance she can change her mind. I called the county's social worker about a homestudy as well as the local Bethany office. The state social worker said she is almost 100% sure that the state of MS does not require home studies for private adoptions, and that we would just go before the judge with out lawyers and the papers signed and he could request one, but more than likely when all parties are willing and there are no issues, that is waived. Ever heard of this ???

She left her last ultrasound picture for us at our lawyer's office, and I couldn't leave school fast enough to pick it up. She has her 20 week major ultrasound tomorrow, and I can't wait for the email describing every detail, including the sex of the baby. We are not going to find out the sex of the baby I am carrying, but we want to know this one!!! I have suggested several times in email about the importance of her receiving some good counseling, but she never writes anything back to me about it. I told her I will find a Spanish speaking counselor, pay for it, whatever she needs, but she ignores this request. I know how important counseling is in this situation and I pray to God she will agree to go very soon.

I print every email out both from her and to her as well as the pictures and I am so excited that we will have all this correspondence for the baby to have from his/her birthmom in the future. We will have ultrasound pictures, details of her pregnancy, everything our birth child will have. It will be such an amazing blessing to have both, and such a testament to the power of God and miraculous waters of Lourdes if we are blessed with both babies in October.

I found out I will have to have a C-section due to my fibroid myomectemy possibly leaving my uterus weakened. The dd will be around October 21, and she is due on October 15! Seriously twins, God willing...

We leave for the beach tomorrow and I CAN'T WAIT!!!! Lauren, email your number so we can plan for a meet up, Awaiting, you too:)
So, advice on keeping swelling at bay?
Can adoptions be completed without a home study?


  1. I have no advice on your questions, but just wanted to say how good it is to hear from you. I've been thinking about you and the baby since your accident. So glad to hear things are going well with both babies!

  2. I'm so glad you and the baby are doing okay! I've said some prayers for you ever since I read about your accident. How exciting that you've popped and can feel the baby move! I have heard of not needing a home study to do a private adoption, but it would be a "guardianship" placement. This basically means you are legal guardians, but not adoptive parents. We talked to a lawyer about it and decided we wanted to adopt the baby so we are working on a home study now. Anyway, I would talk to someone more knowledgable than me about it for advice. :) Enjoy the beach!!!!

  3. Thanks for the update, I am thrilled to hear of your continued good health and being able fee you little one move! It is a feeling like no other! Praying for both babies and both mommas!
    Peace, Amazing life

  4. We haven't adopted, but a friend of mine does adoption home studies and I've talked to her about it. I think GIMH is right about not being adoptive parents if you don't do the homestudy. But it can also depend on your state.

    I'm so envious of your potential "twin" situation! I was in the same situation, but the mother unfortunately aborted. :(

  5. No home study???? CRAZY!!! That would be really awesome! I'm so amazed that this twin situation might work out. I'm so hopeful!!!

    I can't WAIT to see you next week!!!!

  6. Not sure about the homestudy-but that seems like a Mississippi thing to do. You know the rules don't apply here!

    And my southern OB said to lie on my back with my feet up against a wall for 10-15 minutes to get the swelling to go down.

  7. Salt. I know it sounds crazy and like the exact opposite would be true but I learned in Bradley how important salt is when you are pregnant. When my ankles would swell I would increase the salt a bit an it would help.

  8. Yay! I was just thinking about you, and I'm so glad to see an update! I am so excited for you with both babies! :) As for the swelling, I would say to make sure you stay hydrated so that your body doesn't need to retain more water than it needs. When I had swelling with my first, my DH would massage my legs and push the swelling back up into my legs. It helped immensely!

  9. No idea on the homestudy question, but I am all ears on the swelling question. Karen - Salt - that seems so crazy? But hey, if it works, I am up for trying it! I am so excited about your possible twins - so stinking cool!!!!!!!

  10. Glad to hear your pregnancy is still going well and the possible twins thing might work out.

  11. Glad to hear an update. I was worried things weren't going well. If you end up with 2 babies in October, this will be a wonderful story to share with others and a wonderful thing to happen to your family. Praise God!

  12. So glad things are going so well! We had a bio baby and then adopted (but ours was a year old) within a 4-week period. It's intense, but wonderful! I don't know if it will help with the swelling, but the other thing I tell people that I learned in Bradley classes is that you're supposed to eat 80-100g of protein per day--dramatically reduces the risk of pre-eclampsia. And, of course, I know exercise is supposed to help, too. Hope everything continues to go well!

  13. Please contact an adoption attorney in your state NOW! I am an attorney here in IL and here you need to have home study done BEFORE the you can have the baby placed with you (even for a private adoption). IL also does NOT like artificial twinning (unless the children are over a year at the tine of placement)... please get legal advice before you make more plans, an attorney should only charge about $150 for this consultation (and might even credit it back to you if you use him/her)...every state does have different laws, so make sure the lawyer you pick is licensed in your state (not birth mom's)...


  14. I just can't believe this is all happening to you! I am so excited, so I can only imagine the emotions and joy you must be feeling!! I will keep praying for both situations! :)

  15. In PA you have to have a homestudy for any kind of adoption-private or agency facilitated.

    I have twins, and it is indeed a blessing. I hope it all works out for you!