Motherhood Fix/Renovations!!!

I had my precious neice and nephew Thursday night from about 5 til 10:30 and I so enjoyed my time with them. Sadly (and embarrassingly) I bonded with my nephew for the first time since he was born in September. He is one of our 3 nephews/neice that were born the same time our first should have been born so it has been EXTREMELY difficult for me to bond with them. I usually go straight for GiGi, his sister who is the light of my life. I get her every Wednesday sometimes Thursday from her babysitter which is around the corner and we take a long walk, eat dinner, sometimes bathe, and watch Calliou. She is so happy, albeit headstrong, and full of life. My mom says I was exactly the same way and maybe why we are so close!



But on Thursday, I made myself try to bond with her insanely precious little brother. I felt so ashamed I have not really even held him before for more than 2 minutes. I have never changed his diaper, I have never smothered him with kisses like I did with all the older nephews/neices. So I made a concentrated effort, which wasn't hard, he literally is the best baby in the world. He never cries, he plays, laughs, blows bubbles, and is seriously perfect. My mother keeps him everyday and she said he will sit in his exersaucer for hours laughing and playing while she works beside him in her secret garden. So I held him, played with him, and rubbed his face while he slept on my arm. I felt so happy but also so ashamed that I have missed such a beautiful opportunity - but I know that it is normal to avoid babies after miscarriage and I have had two in his short little life. So not only did I finally bond with this precious soul, but I got a Mother Fix if only for a few short hours...

On a different note, we are finally getting underway on our house renovations!! I bought our house while we were dating and we have already done so much, the house was built in 1961. Blake has been scraping paint for weeks and ripped off shutters and now it is getting painted this week!!! We are painting it "portabella" which is a dark khaki with vanilla bean trim. Brick and all will be painted! Blake made cedar shutters and bought a 9 pane glass window door that I have wanted forever. I can't wait to see it. My brother is doing the painting and he said they should be done this Friday. I am soooo worried about my flower beds. I am totally obsessed with my flowers and they will have to be moved and covered while the brick is painted. My brother said he will be careful - I am so worried about my climbing rose and Pope John II clematis! I will be all drugged up coming home from my surgery and see our glorious house. At least something to look forward to this week, I guess!