MANY PRAYERS NEEDED TODAY - PLEASE!!!! I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO

My school usually blocks blogger, but God must have known how very much I needed comfort, advice, and hopefully information today. I don't even know how to start, but don't have long before 2nd period so here goes....

Dr. D called last night just as I was walking into the Seder Meal at my church with the final test result. She said that DH tested positive for the balanced chromosome translocation!!!!!!!!!!! I felt like I was shot and I literally felt the blood draining from my body. I had a panic attack and could not go to the Seder obviously. Thank goodness my friend pulled up and we sat in her car and I tried to calm down. Like I said before, once I hear bad news, I kind of tune out and so the remaining 15 minutes of the call was jumbled at best. I remember her saying that she doesn't know exactly how the chromosomes are translocated and we need to meet with a geneticist to discuss our options, something about 85% may EVENTUALLY HAVE normal births with more m/c, but 15% will continue to m/c or have non viable fetuses, two options she knows are continue to get pregnant until one is viable and will likely have more m/c or do IVF to "select" the embryos without the translocation. I am sooooooooo afraid and need help please any info will help. I am so scared too b/c of all the message boards I have joined about rpl, NONE HAVE MENTIONED HAVING THIS PROBLEM!! It is so unbelievable rare, I can't tell you! Only 3-5% of the poplulation have rpl, of that only 3% have balanced chromosome translocation, WTH?????? of that women are twice as likely to have it that men, seriously God??? Was my cross not BIG ENOUGH ALREADY!!!???

I am at a loss of words, and poor B is a basket case. He cried last night saying I am the one who has to be strong now, and if I want to try again it is my choice b/c he doesn't want to. He feel responsible for all my surgeries, the depression, losses, everything. I tried to reassure him, but he is not to be consoled right now. He feels guilty and so angry. I think I heard him sniffling/crying when he finally fell asleep. I DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!! I am meeting with my priest Thursday so I am hoping he'll provide some guidance and help, because I AM SO LOST. I think the odds to be struck by lightning are higher that this, seriously. Please post info on your blogs about this or a link to me, maybe there is someone you all know who blogs with this disorder who can help me understand because two weeks until the geneticist appointment, will DO ME IN. And please please please, we need your prayers more than ever. Of all the things we could have had, this is by far the absolute worst one to have, especially for a Catholic. I cannot belive this is happening.